Baby #2 is coming soon, and I still refuse to buy this book. Disclaimers:
- Um...if you like this book, you probably shouldn't read this blog.
- If you actually gave this book to me, sorry.
- For those who want to venture further, sorry if I ruin it for you, like I did for my friend Melody who loves this book!
For those who don't know this book, it starts out all sweet with a baby and a mom. When the baby sleeps, the mom walks into the room, picks up the baby and sings to him: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."
I know, sounds sweet, right?
Then she comes in again when the baby is a bit older, a toddler, and does the same thing. And it's not that I don't resonate with the mom at this point in the book. After a long, rough day, I've been known to go into JJ's room for a few minutes to watch my sweet "angel" sleep and maybe even give him a kiss on the cheek. It sort of helps wipe out the rough day we just had.
But, then in the book the child becomes 9 and then 16 years old, and the mom does the same thing; she creeps into the room after he's fallen asleep, crawls on her hands and knees, holds him in her arms and sings, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."
I think any mom of a 16 year old knows that if her teenager woke up while she was sneaking into the room on her hands and knees then proceeded to hold him while singing this song, it would completely creep him out.
Then it gets worse. The next pages tell us that the boy is now fully grown, living in his own home and married. Next we see the mom (who is also much older at this point) driving to her son's home WITH A LADDER ON TOP OF HER CAR, where she proceeds to prop that ladder up against her son's bedroom window, crawls on the floor on her hands and knees while he sleeps, holds him and sings, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."
Um....
Listen, I have a son, and sure, in many ways I will always look at him as my "little" boy, even when he's grown and married. I know that because my mom says the same thing. BUT, come on - driving to your son's house with a ladder and crawling on the floor?? Where are the boundaries? And I can tell you as a wife of a son, if my mother in-law (whom I love dearly!!) drove over to our house in the middle of the night with a ladder, snuck into our bedroom, crawled across the floor and tried to hold Dave while he was sleeping and sang, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be", we would have to have a conversation about boundaries, and about letting go, and about not projecting your neediness onto your child, etc...
There are so many great children's books out there. I think I'll stick to the ones that show healthier family boundaries.
10 comments:
This is hilarious! I remember being read this as a child and loving it. Reading it as an adult, the ladder scene is just creepy! :)
Awesome, awesome post. Not sure if it was your intent, but I laughed aloud as I read it.
Betsy, I was hoping to sneak over to your house and climb in the window, but now that you've warned me, I guess I'll forgo that. Oh well. But Dave, you always will be my baby.
But actually even though this book can be a little "creepy" I think it's just a metaphor for how parents always think of their offspring as their babies, perhaps because they don't want time to pass or don't want to grow old themselves. I don't know...just a thought. But perhaps as a children's book it's not a good idea.
Wait, so I SHOULDN'T purchase a ladder for when Liz moves out??
I like to think of it as a mother's prayer for her son. Haven't you ever snuck in to pray over JJ? As for the ladder, books don't always have to be taken so literally. Just a visual depiction of a mother's continued thoughts. I think that it is a sweet book. We didn't always read it to the kids because it made Brian and I so emotional, ESP. At the end when he carries his mom. Anyway, I don't think you'll scar JJ if you read it to him. On another note, glad to see that you guys are doing well. Sending love and prayers.
Yeah, I definitely think it's about a metaphor (thank goodness) and not all children's books can be taken literally, but when I read it I never saw it as sweet, just creepy. Not that there aren't sweet moments, like the one at the end when the mom is old. It might have been that I first read it when I was steeped in studies of Family Systems, was into analyzing it and could only see it through one lens.
Bets
Oh Betsy! This is great, this book always made me feel awkward! I never liked it either! Luke would totally freak out if I did that! I was worried about him the other day, because he took Benadryl and he was feeling allergy symptoms before he went to bed , so after he went to sleep I went to check on him, and couldnt hear him breathing, so I got realy close to his face, he sensed my presence and almost punched me becasue I scared the *&#% out of him! I afee with Sam!
Chel that is hilarious AND so glad you didn't get a punch to the face!
Bets
I'm crying right now...tears of laughter at the imagery you've created. Amy's at baggage claim in Croatia waiting for her ladder to come down the chute. Marsha is grunting as she drags Lee's work ladder through our flower bed. Hilarious.
Kudos, Bets. Let's start a children's lit book club.
Another incredibly funny one! A few years ago, my mom showed me the book. I commented something like: Yikes! It's the instruction manual for becoming a helicopter parent to the extreme. There's a reason the cord is cut at birth.
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