Thursday, September 15, 2011

What Pregnant Women DON'T Want to Hear


This blog is dedicated to pregnant women everywhere and designed to educate people on how to talk to pregnant women.  (Note: I’ve wanted to write this since I was pregnant with Jacob.)  

Despite what you may think, here are 10 Things Pregnant Women actually Don’t want to hear (not in any particular order).
1.  “Wow – there must be twins in there!”
2.  “You’re about to pop any second!”  (this is especially nice when the comment comes 2-3 months before due date)
3.  “There must be a big baby in there!"
4.   “Is there a baby gorilla in there?”  (this actually happened to my friend)
5.   “You’re ONLY 6 months?  Uh oh.” 
6.   “Are you sure there’s only 1 in there?”
7.   “Your stomach is huge!”  (or insert any other body part in there…I’ve gotten others)
8.   “How much weight have you gained?”
9.    These are not words, but had to add this one:  Random stranger touching your stomach without asking. 
10.  “Should you be that big by now?”


For those who are now wondering, “What CAN I say to a pregnant woman?”, here are some tips for you: 
 
Tip #1 – Avoid using these words:  huge, big, twins, gorilla, fat, swollen, due/pop any second
Tip #2 – Despite what you may think, most pregnant women don’t like totally random strangers touching their bellies, especially without asking. 
Tip #3 – Our pregnant stomachs are not public property.  Just by being pregnant, we are not inviting you into our experience or giving you permission to comment on our bodies. 
Tip #4 – I’m sorry if me being pregnant stirs up your weight anxiety issues – but please don’t ask how much weight I’ve gained.  I don’t ask you how much you weigh!
Tip #5 – If you MUST comment on me getting bigger, it’s better to use these phrases: 
  • “I see the baby is growing.”  (This puts the focus on the baby, rather than on our bodies)
  • “You look beautiful."
  • “You look great!"
  • “You look healthy!”
Tip #6 – You can tell me I’m “glowing”, but I guarantee that it’s only sweat.
Tip #7 – All women have different body types and thus carry differently.  So, despite what you may think, you are not a Dr. and thus should not give out an opinion on how big I “should” or “should not” be.  
Tip #8 – All pregnant women do not like pickles and ice cream.  
Tip #9 – We don’t like unsolicited advice:   

Person:  “Should you be doing that?” (said to me while working out on an elliptical machine)  Me: “Yeah, my doctor recommended it!”   Person: “You should swim.” 
 
Tip #10 – Most of the time we’re hungry, tired, cranky, or all of the above.   

13 comments:

Jeff and Serena said...

I hear ya! That was the part of being pregnant I hated the most...well, that and the puking! :)

Praying for all 4 of you!

themannclannblog said...

Love it Betsy! Brings back memories and made me chuckle. Can't wait to see you guys next month!

Anne said...

When I was pregnant with Matthew, my first, and didn't tell anyone...especially random people from work...a lady asked me..."Are you pregnant?" I said..."um..no (which was a lie)" She then said..."Wow...you've gained some weight huh? Are you stressed?" Seriously...who would EVER say that to someone!!!! Thanks Betsy for the laugh today! I can't imagine you looking anything but beautiful!

jenni g b said...

Amen to all of that.

Tim B. said...

Incredibly funny!
And once again, I thank God for that Y chromosome!

PRS & ALS said...

Momma says: These should be printed on flyers and handed to anyone who says or does these unacceptable things. Or perhaps you could say to people "That is unacceptable behavior." That's something we used to say to preschoolers who were acting up in some way. Or, better still, make tee shirts with these things on them. You could make some money.

Sam said...

Well now I'm hungry for ice cream and pickles, thank you very much. :)

Maija said...

Who was that poor poor girl who was asked if she had a gorilla in her stomach? Oh my word. The memories.

Christina said...

Absolutely, to all of the above! Especially the not touching your stomach one. Even people you know stroking your stomach without asking is just not ok.

Chel said...

I wore a high cut dress, and I was NOT pregnant, and someone asked me when my baby was due- I think I said "seven years ago!" , that shut them up real quick, but I never wore the dress again!

Chel said...

BY the way- You ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Paul Tarrant said...

How about these "Someone said you were pregnant, but I sad - 'can't be...' Is it really true?"
or "You don't need to wrap yourself in cotton-wool this early do you? get out there and enjoy the experience..."
or "If I were you I'd take all the offers of help you get - It won't last forever..!"

Jeff and Joy Scott Family said...

There are things a husband doesn't want to hear. For instance, when Joy was pregnant with our second child, someone started talking to me about the "mucus plug." Nope. Not something the father wants to talk about. Not with ANYONE, let alone another woman. I still don't have any idea why that was brought up!