If you read my previous blog, you will find the humor in the fact that my car says “ABS” right now in bright yellow capital letters next to the gas gauge. I think it's really talking about our Anti-Lock Break System, but yet again, I am reminded... Tonight was a fun night. While Dave was at "BOB", I had a Betsy date which consisted of buying cheap yarn, a cheap skirt, and pirating a scarf pattern from a Knitting book at Barnes and Noble . Dave will be proud.
Recently our neighbors bought a new puppy. This poor puppy normally sits on the edge of its yard and just stares at us, but she will never cross over into our yard b/c of their invisible fence. The other week when our power was out for a couple of days the puppy was free, and I've never seen her look so happy.
You might've remembered me saying that we NEVER see our neighbors. We live in a development in the middle of the country and we NEVER see people outside their homes. However, this weekend, when JJ and I were playing outside, we noticed our neighbor and her two kids were outside working and playing in the yard.
Immediately JJ said, "Mommy I want to go play with them." So, I tried to get the mom's attention by saying HI really loudly a couple of times followed with a big wave. But each time the mom just looked at me, said "hey" really quickly and quietly and then looked away. Then when JJ and I ventured over to the tomato garden, which is right across from their house, we said hello again, this time to the two little boys staring at us from the edge of their yard, just like the little puppy.
Then after we were done collecting our tomatoes, we headed back to the house and JJ said again, "Mommy I want to play over there." It was then I stopped, looked at him and then looked at our neighbors and realized there really was an invisible fence between us.
I think a lot of us have invisible fences up. What are we so afraid of?
Many a quiet night I have sat out on our porch and looked out at our country development and wondered just what everyone was doing...where they were living their lives. The other day when we came home from dinner, we got out of the car and heard the wonderful sounds of laughter and music. JJ instantly knew it was a party and asked if he could go. I found myself also filled with excitement at the idea and even let out a gasp when I heard the noise too. I wanted so bad to stop by and then immediately after that wished so bad our neighborhood was the kind of neighborhood in which one could do that.
Those with invisible fences; what are we hiding OR what are we hiding from?
My sister and brother in-law live close by, and I am thrilled that their neighbors tore down a part of the fence in between their two yards. So, now there is an opening, a huge step in the right direction of breaking down other walls. Invisible fences...how do we tear them down or dig them up...when they've been rooted for so long?
You might've remembered me saying that we NEVER see our neighbors. We live in a development in the middle of the country and we NEVER see people outside their homes. However, this weekend, when JJ and I were playing outside, we noticed our neighbor and her two kids were outside working and playing in the yard.
Immediately JJ said, "Mommy I want to go play with them." So, I tried to get the mom's attention by saying HI really loudly a couple of times followed with a big wave. But each time the mom just looked at me, said "hey" really quickly and quietly and then looked away. Then when JJ and I ventured over to the tomato garden, which is right across from their house, we said hello again, this time to the two little boys staring at us from the edge of their yard, just like the little puppy.
Then after we were done collecting our tomatoes, we headed back to the house and JJ said again, "Mommy I want to play over there." It was then I stopped, looked at him and then looked at our neighbors and realized there really was an invisible fence between us.
I think a lot of us have invisible fences up. What are we so afraid of?
Many a quiet night I have sat out on our porch and looked out at our country development and wondered just what everyone was doing...where they were living their lives. The other day when we came home from dinner, we got out of the car and heard the wonderful sounds of laughter and music. JJ instantly knew it was a party and asked if he could go. I found myself also filled with excitement at the idea and even let out a gasp when I heard the noise too. I wanted so bad to stop by and then immediately after that wished so bad our neighborhood was the kind of neighborhood in which one could do that.
Those with invisible fences; what are we hiding OR what are we hiding from?
My sister and brother in-law live close by, and I am thrilled that their neighbors tore down a part of the fence in between their two yards. So, now there is an opening, a huge step in the right direction of breaking down other walls. Invisible fences...how do we tear them down or dig them up...when they've been rooted for so long?
But when it finally happens, maybe we'll be like the free puppy who experienced a joy she had never known before.
9 comments:
You are so eloquent! I love your writing, Bets.
I am very lucky to live on a dead end street with 9 houses, all lived in by young, hip and friendly people. We frequently meet on sunny Saturday mornings in the middle of the street for coffee.
Maybe you should move to Maine?
There's a lot to think about in this post. Some of it maybe uncomfortable.
I've heard it a couple times over the years and I think it applies here... One of the worst things ever invented to block friendships and association with our neighbors? The garage door opener. When we stopped having to get out of cars and possibly interact with the people around us, the random hello's and how ya doing's were gone. And that's the flipside, it's not like the garage door opener "stopped" us from talking to our neighbors, we could always make that happen if we made the effort. So do we make the effort? Or is it just easier to sit at home where we have a perfectly good TV, or our privacy, to keep us company? (Sorry, that wasn't fair to the TV. He didn't ask to be included in this discussion.)
;-)
As usual, I can totally relate. Since leaving fuller we moved back to our house in AL. It's in a "country suburb". Everyone here has a garage and a privacy fence (we don't have a fence), and apart from the occational wave when passing by in the car, there is little interaction. A few months after we moved back we were so sick of feeling so isolated that we decided to host a cookout for our street. I printed up invites and put them on everyone's mailbox. To our surprise, everyone came. We could not believe it. That made us feel like maybe they were all open to the idea of building more of a community and breaking down those fences, but they just don't know how. It went really well and everyone seemed to have a good time. Unfortunately no one else has taken much initiative since then. We are thinking of trying again soon. At least we know all of their names now.
This is a great post, Bets. I felt for so long like I was the one who had the invisible fence up - people would look in and I would seem happy enough, but still had my distance from others. Now, I feel like God and I have worked hard on breaking down that fence, and I do feel most times like I am running around like the free puppy - happier for the fence being down, but also now open and available enough to let others see when things aren't so happy. It is very much a process that I think people long to be at the end of, but don't like the steps to get there. I like your friends idea about the neighborhood cookout, too. I've heard others that have done the same and it went really well. We'd like to try it sometime, too. Anyway...that was a long reply.... :)
Mara - Good for you guys!! Building community is really just so mysterious. I encourage you as begin this journey with your neighborhood.
Chris - Maine rocks, doesn't it? However, I don't think I could do the snow - please tell me you don't all come out in your snowsuits and gather. Oh and coffee brings people together, doesn't it? By the way, I'm loving your blog!!
Oh and today I actually saw a car stop to talk to Dave while he was on his cell phone in our front yard. Dave and JJ have made it their mission to wave at every single neighbor as they pass by. It seems as though they've made a friend!
Good post Betsy! Not that all of your other posts aren't good as well. I just haven't read some of them... Sorry that I am not a truly faithful blog reader. Anyway, when Danielle and I first got back home here in Iowa one of the first things I did was tear down an old fence that my parents had in the back yard for 15 or so years. It was rotten and needed to go. When I tore it down I told the neighbor lady who lived on the other side that I was promoting good neighborly relations. I have to admit though that this past week my dad and I put up a new fence in place of the old one. Hmmmm. The new fence is only 4 feet high and so doesn't form nearly the barrier that the previous 6-foot high one did, so that is nice. But still the question is often in my mind, "Why do we so often feel we need all these dang fences?" Privacy is good up to a point, but we have often taken it to the extreme here in America in ways that aren't good. Yesterday Danielle and I drove down to Omaha to go the Immigration office there. We ran into a guy in the waiting area who was from Nepal. We talked a bit about our different cultures and one of the primary things he mentioned was that in America it is so easy to feel lonely because of the way people live their lives isolated from each other. He told us of how in Nepal people are not nearly as guarded as they are here in America. Having been to Nepal (and America) I agreed with him a lot.
Peace to you guys! Tell Dave I want to see some photos of the new bike! And tell him Kraig says he is a booger-head. Oh, and Betsy, I noticed in one of your photos on the blog that your hair stylist accidentally dyed the front part of your hair a different color than the back part. You might want to mention that to him/her the next time you go in there for a cut and tell him/her to please be more careful next time... Just kidding! Man, don't take me so seriously... Of course, you and Dave always look hip and way cooler than I can ever hope to be - although I try hard by wearing the t-shirts and other clothes Dave gave to me almost every day...
Commenting on you side not about Ella...
I got to bond with Ella, apparently, I did not realize it, but I feel like I know Ella quite well, and got a little "kiss" from her. ( is Ella a her?)
When we watched him when you were in FL, i listened to him and Ella via the monitor have a "conversation" recapping the whole day, it was really amazing! How cool!
side NOTE!
Chel -
Ella is a female elephant I believe. And it is quite an honor to get a kiss from her!! It's very funny - he's been doing the high voice of Ella for quite some time now. We love it! Thanks again for watching JJ while my mom was here. We had a great time at Springfield even though the movie was extremely lame and sad ("Nights at Radanthe").
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