What's in a Name??

I guess Dave and I really like nicknames.  When we thought of names for Jacob, we decided to pick his name based on the fact that we wanted "JJ" as a nickname.  That and it was our only hope in actually naming our child because we could NOT agree on a name.  Dave wanted names like:  Hunter and Arrow, and I threw out names like Henri (French name for Henry) and Amon. 

Then, after JJ was born and grew, we had all sorts of nicknames for him, some we didn't even realize we said so much, like "Bud".  We called him JJ, Jage, Bud, Mister, Dude and a recent one - Bubba.  Apparently this one is my sweet name for him because when he gets in trouble, he asks me, "Mom - can you please call me Bubba again?"  Apparently when I get mad I only call him Jacob Jonathan.  How sad it is that his actual first and middle names we mostly only use when we're mad?? 

So, with Emma June, picking her name was easier than picking JJ's.  She is named after my grandmother (my mom's mom), and Dave loved her name right away.  I always loved both of my grandmothers' names:  Emma June and Esther Willamena.  You can see how Emma June won out though - slightly more appealing than Esther Willamena (I still love her name though). 

Anyway, even though Emma June is her official name, we already have nicknames for her:  Little Miss, Miss Miss, Miss Emma, Junebug and Dave calls her Sweet Pickles. 

So, as she gets older, like JJ, she'll answer to just about anything. 

Post-Pregnancy Reflections

I recently started reading a book written by a woman who wanted to chronicle the pregnancy of her third and last child.  Reading this book has been a real powerful and emotional way for me to reflect on our own last child. 

So here are my recent musings on post-pregnancy and motherhood.

On Sacrifice:
When I was pregnant with both of my children (that still sounds weird to say), I felt it was a huge sacrifice to carry them around for 10 months.  I had gestational diabetes with both of them, carried quite big for both and with Emma I had shooting nerve pains down my legs, which brought me to my knees a few times (once just outside the restaurant Dave took me to for my birthday). 

And then there was the relief of having them out, and the realization that that particular sacrifice was over, but then the further realization that sacrifice continues and looks like something new: feeding several times in the middle of the night, the sacrifice of "our" time that isn't "our" time anymore, giving ample attention to both kids, juggling life/work with the new addition, etc...  But in the midst of the sacrifice, even though it's hard, it's all worth it.  

On Body:
One of the things on so many women's minds after they've given birth is "when can I have my body back?"  I kept saying during pregnancy, "I can't wait to have my body back", but I didn't mean it in the way that I want my figure back.  I meant that it will be nice to be able to lie on my back to sleep without worrying about squeezing off some important artery that pumps blood to the baby, or, because I had gestational diabetes, being able to have a bowl of ice cream when I want without worrying that I'm harming both myself and the baby, etc...

But I'm also fascinated by the intense desire women in general have to get their figures back.  For me, it's not that intense.  I know from experience with JJ, that this whole getting "my figure" back thing takes time, at least for me it does.  Mainly because I don't try to be a fanatic about rushing it.  I know it's important to be healthy and to heal from surgery well, and that's why I want to start walking and being active, but I also feel there are more important things right now than getting my figure back pronto, like caring for a newborn and figuring out how to also keep giving attention to my 6 year old, who has already expressed emotion of how hard it is for him to watch me give so much attention to a new baby. 

On Love:
The second time around, I'm still fascinated at the amount of love I have for this baby.  I remember looking at JJ when he was only a few days old and thinking, "how can I love this little guy so much?"  And I know I kind of bonded with both before they came out because I carried them for so long, but as soon as I heard Emma's cry in the operating room, it all became real - she was real.  She wasn't just this squirmy image on an ultrasound screen or this alien moving inside me.  She was real, and so was my love for her. 

Christmas Blessing

Merry Christmas!!

Right now there is a lull in the Christmas excitement, as JJ works on his new Christmas Lego creation, Dave is doing some dishes, and our host friends are out for a bit at their church service.  I'm sitting next to the beautiful new addition to our family and reflecting on what an adventure the last two weeks have been! 

Emma June - born Dec. 20th in Budapest

In the last two weeks, I had to learn to let go of control, something that is probably hard for many Americans to do.  Culturally we are brought up to think that the world is within our control, and we set the course for how things will happen.  Something amazing happens when you travel to other countries and cultures and especially live in those cultures; you realize that you are now a part of a whole new system of doing things that have existed long before you ever did, and you learn to operate (or at least try) within those new constructs, new rules, new boundaries.  And this is not always an easy process, especially for me who likes to be in control of my environment. 

So, we had two surgeries planned in a country we do not live in and scheduled only about a week apart from each other.  And we've been stretched in ways we could not have imagined.  And with it all came many tears and frustrations but also gratitude and joy. 

There were so many things we wanted to change, but couldn't.  Watching my son get blood drawn in what seemed like a very old fashion way and watching him experiencing pain because of it was not easy to go through.  We asked if it could be done another way, but the system is already in place.  Hearing my daughter scream all the way from my hospital room and then walking in to see the same technique being used on her was equally as hard for me.  All I could say was "Are you almost done?"  Then I scooped her up in my arms and brought her back to where I could be in control of her.  

We had these surgeries in a hospital that didn't believe in over-medicating.  So not being given very much pain medication after JJ's surgery, and instead being told that he needed to eat and drink right away was so hard for him, and there was little we could do about it but encourage him to fight through the pain and promise to be there with him while he did.  But then he fought through the pain, and now today he is almost his regular ninja self again!

Laying in bed, fighting to move through immense pain and asking for harder pain medication and being told that I needed to fight through the pain was terrifying for me.  I felt helpless and beyond frustrated.  But then I moved and fought through it and the other day I walked up 94 stairs! 

As hard as it was, we made it through the pain and suffering and learned a bit more about coping when things cannot be within your control.

Here are some pictures of a healthy JJ and our precious Emma's arrival, the gift, the blessing and precious reward that came through the pain and suffering.

Tonsils are Out

I had my tonsils out when I was 8 years old.  And I truly believe it was due to that experience in conjunction with my very wimpy personality that set up the course in life where I knew I would never become a nurse.

According to my 8 year old mind, it was a traumatic experience, two IVs (one nurse took one out because she didn't know I was spending the night, so another had to put one back in), throwing up blood, two pain killer shots in the bum, etc... 

Dave also had his tonsils out when he was younger, although not that young, maybe when he was 16.

So, when JJ started having tonsil problems when he was younger, it was no surprise.  This year in the month of October, JJ had 3 bouts of strep throat, missed at least 10 days of school, had fevers, head aches, belly aches, etc... all associated with strep throat.  His body took 2 doses of antibiotics, and it didn't clear it up until he had a shot of penicillin.  Those stubborn tonsils!

So, we decided it was best to have them out before the baby comes - to be exact 8 days before she comes.  We couldn't schedule it earlier because we were having it done in Budapest and couldn't come up from Zagreb earlier.

So, here we are in Budapest, the baby is coming in 6 days and today JJ comes home from the hospital!  He made it fine through surgery with no complications, although I really wish they could use a different drug for the general anesthesia that doesn't make them absolutely crazy when coming out of it.  According to the doctors he's healing quite well.  Thanks for thinking of our little guy!

Here are his before and after operation pictures:

Now we're hoping for a fast and easy recovery!

Taekwondo

JJ has been taking Taekwondo classes at school and to say he loves it would be an understatement.  His teacher told us he's a natural and is talented and that we should have him join a studio.  We're still thinking through that one.  But in the meantime, when he's not doing Taekwondo at school, he's doing it at home.  The other day he had me measure his kicks to see how high they were and he goes around the house doing some really fancy fierce moves.

Often he invites us to his taekwondo "classes" where he teaches us really super cool moves.  One day he gave out special taekwondo names for us all:
Dave is Black Skylar
JJ is Black Warrior
and he told me that I'm Black Belly

The other day as well he was telling me of daddy and his special powers.  I can't quite remember them exactly, but they were super cool, like sneaky ninja powers, shooting lightening from their hands to capture enemies, super human strength, super high jumps, etc...  And when I asked him what my special powers were, he said:  A wobbly stomach that pretty much does nothing.

Awesome.

JJ's First Canvas

While working on this, Jacob came up with 2 fun ideas on his own:  to pour paint on the canvas and blow at it through a straw, and to splatter it over the shapes he painted.  As soon as he was done, he asked to do another one. 

A Bit of Croatia: Vrbnik

There are things I will be able to do before we have our 2nd baby, and there are things I won't be able to do.  This is the reality I'm accepting.  But, one of the things I'm sooo happy we were able to do before was go away for a night together with an awesome group of people to a place on the coast, for a time of being together, getting to know each other better, having fun together, and relaxing together.  One of the highlights for me was discovering this new part of the coast with them.  It was on the island of Krk, in a small beautiful town called Vrbnik.  Here are some photos from our brief but very memorable interaction with Vrbnik: 

 

This is the smallest street in the world. 

There were doubts on whether I could make it through.  Surprisingly I could fit both ways - a few cm to spare! 

I couldn't resist taking a picture of this cat.